OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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