i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
