How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
