My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I love having hate sex.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
