i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
