I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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