your thong is hanging out like whoa
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
