Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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