two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
