Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
