Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
