she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My life is pants optional.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
