Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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