Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
