Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
