I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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