Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
