I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
