xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
