Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
