yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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