I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
