hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
