...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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