Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
