Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
