im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
