dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
