Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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