Christians are straight up FREAKS
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
