He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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