he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
