o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
