I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
