Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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