Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
