I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
