Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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