Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
