I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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