is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
