You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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