I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize