I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
