Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
