did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
