Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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