Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I enjoy the company of your penis
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