Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize