I must be too annoying 4 u.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
