Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
