For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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