Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
