Soap is not a condiment
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
