You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
