are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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