Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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