why didn't you poke me back
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
