haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
