That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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