So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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