if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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