My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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