Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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