Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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