it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
